The Worst Things About Being A Mountain Biker

– Mountain Bike is the best sport in the whole world, in my eyes. But there are a few things in there that can throw you off the edge, and make you give up this beautiful sport. So I’ve pulled out a
few of the worst things about being a mountain biker. The nasty smell. Not knowing where this
nasty smell is coming from. The smell is so strong, and you’re trying to find it, and it involves smelling everything, all your riding gear, to find it. And when you do, you’ll know about it. Ooh, ooh. Damn son. (metal music) (laughs) Right. Mm, no, not, mm. Car park faff, trailside faff, just faff. We all have a friend
that just takes his time, getting ready before a ride. Getting their bike ready for the trail, or just faffing about, forgetting
something or everything. If you don’t know anyone that faffs, take a look at yourself, you faffer. I’m ready. (laughs) Oh, you stupid, helmet. Oh, and one glove. Yep. Got a glove. Ah, no. Right, hope that’s everything now. Finally, but did I, did, what, no. Did I actually, did I lock my car? Oh no. Come on, I probably have. Oh, I did, I did lock it. Oh well, it’s locked now. (laughs) Yeah, oh. Oh my god, I can’t see. Foggy goggles. You get to the top of the trail and you put your goggles on, but to find out that they’re so fogged up you can’t even see your hands. All you wanna do is just drop in. And you drop in, and they
get covered in mud anyway. So you stop, you remove them, knowing it’s a bad idea. (light music) Oh my, oh, oh, oh. (laughs) I can’t see a thing. Oh, I gotta take them off. I’m not gonna get mud in my eye. Too fast for mud. Ah. (spitting) Mud in the eye. Has to be said this is a nasty one. You’re riding fast down the trail with your eyes wide open, concentrating on the trail ahead, dodging all the mud ones, keeping your eyes shut when
you get to the muddy bits, but then, oh! You get a piece of mud
fling up into your eye. You skid to a halt. And you’re screaming, fighting
to get that bit of mud out of your eye. Ah, ooh, what a trail. Started snowing. (sniffing) Oh no! It’s dog poo. This has to be the worst thing. They smell. They flick up everywhere. Dealing with removing it from your tyres always makes me wretch. It’s one of my pet hates. (coughing) (spitting) (screaming) No! Puncture. (screaming) Punctures. Getting punctures is a bit of a hindrance, and is a part of mountain biking. But they can strike at any point. Please tell me why they strike at the worst time? (dramatic music) (screaming) Yes, yeah. Oh, hey Blake. Have you got a pump? Forgetting tools. Oh no, a pump. It could be an inner tube, a
pump, a multitool, anything, but when it comes to having
an inner tube but no pump, that can be one of the most
soul destroying moments ever. Mud everywhere. You spend so much time looking
after your pride and joy, making it look super clean. So you make it your goal
to dodge every puddle. But, at the end of it, it comes out looking super, super muddy. Mud gets everywhere, and you’re gonna have to wash your bike again. One run, and look at it. Puncture, super muddy, took
me an hour to clean you. (sigh) Mud everywhere. House, car, mouth, eyes,
washing machine, shower. You will always have muddy clothes. It will change you, and
you will be changing a lot. Mud, mud on face. Stinky water. Spin the wheel. (spitting) Oh it’s-. (spitting) (gagging) (laughing)

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