(applause) – How ya doin’ Bubba J? – I’m doin’ pretty good (laughs) – What you been doin’ today? – Same thing I do every weekend, just watchin’ NASCAR and drinkin’ beer. (audience cheers) – Bubba J I understand you’ve
been writing Santa a letter. – Yeah I done it on the computer. – Ah, did you mail it to him? – No
– Why? – My computer won’t fit in the mailbox. Walter’s right you are a dumbass (laughs). – You know Bubba J I took
the opportunity of printing your letter for you.
– Uh-huh. – And I noticed when I printed it the ink was kinda weird. – Uh that’s because I was
runnin’ outta ink so I mixed it with beer. – You mixed beer with the ink? – Yeah and if you smell
that thing when you’re readin’ it you get a contact drunk. (laughter and applause) – I learned that from guitar guy. (cheering) – Beernog. – Beernog how do you make beernog? – Uh well you take a
big ole bowl of eggnog and you pour it down the sink, and then you drink a beer. (laughter) – Well Bubba J I’m very
interested in what you wrote so could you read the letter? – Yeah sure okay
– Alright. (laughter) – Bubba J – Hang on I ain’t done yet. – Bubba J
– I ain’t done yet, – Bubba J, – What, don’t yell at me
you scare me when you yell. You remind me of that
judge on American Idol. – Simon.
– Paula. – What I meant was could you
read the letter out loud? – Duh, okay you didn’t say that. – Alright go ahead. – Okay (clears throat), dear Santa hi it’s me
Bubba J (laughs) that’s me. Remember I was the guy
last Christmas who lit the fireplace just as you
came down the chimney. (laughter) Sorry about your suit and your ass. Next time you should wear
a NASCAR suit (laughs), see it don’t burn. He needs fire retardant tidy whities. – You lit Santa on fire? – No the damn fireplace did. – And what happened? – Whoosh, he burst into flames like Marilyn Manson at a Baptist revival. (laughter and applause) – Bubba J that’s awful. – That’s why I’m still in therapy, it was hard to hear Santa go from ho ho ho to ho ho holy sh(beep). – Why didn’t you grab the
nearest liquid and put him out? – That woulda been a waste of beer. – What about water? – We don’t drink that crap. – So how’d you put him out? – (laughs) I peed on him. (laughter and applause) Yeah I’ve added a new step to that list. – What list? – Stop drop and quit rollin’
around so I can piss on you. – Was anything else
goin’ on during all this? – Yeah my dumbass brother was singing ♪ On the first day of
Christmas Santa was on fire ♪ ♪ And Bubba was a-whizzin’ on his head. ♪ ♪ On the second day of Christmas, ♪ ♪ Santa said to me (muffled yelling). ♪ See his face was all
wrapped up in gauze (laughs) – Bubba J this is terrible. – Well it seemed like it at the time, next day it was funnier than hell. We peed on ourselves laughin’ about it. – Was there anything going
on outside that night? – Outside?
– Yeah. – My cousin Elroy shot Santa’s lead deer. – What? – Well it’s not too
often you see a 12 point buck standing on your freakin’ roof. We ate good for a month. – Did you write more? – Yeah let me see, okay. Also Santa, in place of cookies this year, we’re leaving you deer jerky. Guess where that came from ha ha. The end signed Bubba J. P.S. Just to make sure you know, we moved, not too far the parkin’ brake came loose. (applause) Now we live at 6738.2 (laughs). – So Bubba J after all this are you gonna ask Santa for anything for Christmas? – A beer. – You can ask him for
somethin’ bigger than that. – A beer truck. (cheering.